I’ve been re-reading the first Lesbia book lately, Over Witch’s Knee. It’s been quite a while since it was published, which means reading it again is a bit like reading it for the first time in some respects. I’d forgotten just how non-fantasy so much of the dialog is for a fantasy book, and just how naughty the brats really were! I came across this scene between heroine Atrocious and the robber Rogette and of course, Ayla the Witch and Kira the warrior. I think you’ll enjoy becoming re-acquainted with them too, or this will be a pleasure if its your first time meeting these ladies 🙂

*****

“I’ve been laid a lot of times,” Atrocious scowled. “I have!” She exclaimed a second time when she realized that everyone was looking at her with expressions of amusement and pity. “I have… I have fucked a lot of ladies.”

“Oh stop it,” Ayla said. “You must stop being so petulant, you really must. Everybody is trying to help you, Atrocious.”

“Then leave,” Atrocious said, doing her best to hide welling tears of frustration and embarrassment. “If I’m so horrible, you can all just leave. I never asked you to help me.”

Ayla took a deep breath and looked skyward for patience. “It’s not about whether you asked or not, it’s about being grateful for the sacrifices people made for you. It’s about acting like something other than a spoiled brat.”

“I am grateful!” Atrocious protested.

“Are you? Have you even thanked Kira? Or have you been too busy alternately cowering away from her then abusing her?”

There was no defense to the charges Ayla was laying, so Atrocious remained silent under the continuing onslaught.

“Mark my words,” Ayla said, her eyes so narrow they were merely slits in her beautiful face. “If she had not found you in my care, you would no longer be in one piece. You don’t deserve to be.”

Atrocious responded with defensive nonsense. “What do you want? You want me to hack my arm off?”

“What I want,” Ayla said in a hiss. “Is for you to act like a useful member of this group and not like a self centered little monster.”

“But I’m not a member of this group, am I? I’m just a chattel you two are playing with. Don’t fucking act like you’re doing me any favors.” Atrocious came out of her corner late in the argument. “You’re not doing anything that you don’t want to do – nor is she.” She pointed at Kira. “She likes chopping people up.”

“Is that what you think?” Kira interjected incredulously.

“I saw your face,” Atrocious said. “I saw how you looked when you killed those people.”

“Everyone gets that look when it’s time to kill,” Kira said. “If you ever defend yourself, you will understand.”

“I’ll defend myself whenever I feel like it,” Atrocious said, looking at Kira meaningfully.

“Cut that out!” Ayla stopped what was fast becoming another slanging match.

“You all need to cut your shit out,” Rogette observed from the corner of the room. “You bitches are crazy.”

It was Rogette’s turn to bear the brunt of three irate female gazes. “Don’t shoot the messenger,” she said casually. “You got a witch and a warrior defending a someone who calls herself a thief who doesn’t even want to be defended and demanding that she be grateful for it. Hell, let her spend one damn night on her own and she’ll be ready to be grateful.”

“She has a point,” Kira said to Ayla.

“I can take care of myself,” Atrocious insisted.

“Sure you can,” Rogette rolled her eyes. “Hell, you’re almost getting yourself hurt with people who like you.”

“They don’t like me,” Atrocious said, sounding petulant and petty even to her own ears.

“If they didn’t like you, you’d be dead in a ditch,” Rogette said sagely. “You need to settle down and be glad you made some friends, because you’re trouble and you’re going to need as many friends as you can get.”

“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” Ayla agreed. “Though I probably would have said it without the ‘bitches’ part,” she said, raising a brow at Rogette.

“I had to get your attention before things got out of hand,” Rogette explained. “I did it for you. I’m a giver.”

“Yeah, you’re a giver alright,” Atrocious said snidely, glaring at Rogette. “You give your body away for all it’s worth, which is apparently nothing more than a roll in the hay.”

“See, now you’ve gone and messed with the wrong girl.”

Where Kira and Ayla had showed restraint, Rogette did not. She launched herself at Atrocious with a furious flurry of open palmed slaps that caught the so called thief around the face, ears and wherever else she could make contact.

“I’m not going to take your shit, even if they do,” she declared roughly, cuffing Atrocious over the head.

Atrocious squealed and ducked, but it was impossible to avoid Rogette’s blows. Her hands were everywhere, smacking palms catching every skerrick of exposed skin.

“No. Stop. Stop it at once. Or later. Whatever works for you.” Kira spoke in a dry, disinterested drawl, watching as Atrocious had her ass handed to her by the bandit. Ayla did not seem inclined to intervene either, turning a deaf ear to Atrocious’ squeals for help as Rogette smacked her around.

Atrocious tried to curl up and avoid the blows, but Rogette pinched her ear and twisted, making her open her position up and exposing her to more slaps. By all objective standards it was nothing more than a little tiff, but to Atrocious, who had never had to actually defend herself properly before, it was a first fight. With her ears ringing and her face stinging, she finally started to give something back, catching Rogette across the cheek with a good open palmed slap.

“We should probably stop this,” Ayla remarked to Kira.

“No, it’s good for both of them,” Kira disagreed as Atrocious and Rogette managed to roll themselves into a small table, dislodging a pitcher of water that splashed down, wetting both combatants equally.

“They’ll tire themselves out eventually,” Kira said, turning away from the petty scene having apparently lost interest.

Kira and Ayla poured themselves drinks and sat by the fire whilst Atrocious and Rogette continued scrapping for several minutes. Their tenacity and stamina was quite impressive really. Atrocious was rising to the occasion admirably, using Rogette’s hair for leverage as she started biting the pretty bandit on the back of the neck. Rogette yowled with rage and kicked out at Atrocious, managing to get her foot wedged into the thief’s stomach.

“If they draw blood, I’m calling it,” Ayla said, sipping her wine.

“If one of them manages to draw blood, I’ll call them the winner,” Kira winked. “Having two servants could save us a lot of trouble,” she remarked as an afterthought. “They could discipline one another.”

“YOUR MOTHER FUCKED PIGS!” Rogette shrieked, resorting to insults when she found it impossible to best Atrocious by simple force, at least, not without really hurting her.

“AT LEAST SHE DIDN’T GIVE BIRTH TO ONE!” Atrocious retorted at the top of her lungs as she tried to free her braids from the death grip Rogette had on them.

“I really do think we should stop this,” Ayla said once more.

“But it’s so cute,” Kira smirked. “Look at them.”

Ayla did look at them. By that stage Atrocious was tugging at Rogette’s tunic, threatening to tear it entirely off her body. Smooth flesh was being exposed at a rate that was rather exciting, even if it did lack the finesse of a typical strip tease. “You might have something there,” she agreed.

“OW FUCK. You hit me in the FUCKING VAGINA!” Rogette shrieked suddenly.

“SORRY. YOUR VAGINA JUST GETS AROUND SO MUCH ITS HARD NOT TO HIT IT. RIGHT KIRA?” Atrocious hollered back at the top of her lungs.

The shrieking and fighting continued unabated for quite some time. Neither Atrocious nor Rogette were willing to either give quarter or do enough damage to actually hurt the other person, so they ended up rolling around near the embers of the fire, forcing Ayla, then Kira to lift their feet as they went past in an awkward tumbling mass of arms and legs and increasingly bare body parts.

The entire place had borne the brunt of their outburst. Chairs and tables were scattered hither and thither, some intact, some in pieces. The battle could have gone on forever and a day had their fracas not eventually sent Atrocious hurtling towards the stone surround of the fireplace with dangerous speed. She would perhaps have brained herself if she had not been caught in Kira’s strong hands and hauled summarily over the knee of the very same.

Smack, smack, smack went Kira’s palm. “Ow, ow, ow,” went Atrocious as the warrior’s hard hand met with the shredded remains of what passed for undergarments. Atrocious had already screamed herself hoarse at Rogette, so her cries had a husky desperation as Kira punished her. It was not clear if she was being punished for fighting, or for losing. It didn’t really much matter, for it hurt the same way regardless.

Rogette sat a few feet away, panting and looking on with a measure of satisfaction. After all, it had been Atrocious who had started it all with her snide words and silly rebellion. Rogette was no longer even slightly inclined to help the thief escape the warrior’s punishment.

Kira’s lips were set in a determined thin line as she spanked on and on, ignoring Atrocious’ high pitched squeals and pleas for clemency. The young woman was in a state of nigh undress, her clothing in such a state of disrepair that she might as well have been naked. The curve of her breast was exposed, as were the pale lines of her back and thighs. If Kira was distracted by having a pert bosom wriggling and bouncing against her leg, she did not show it. All her attention was focused in a frowning glare directed at Atrocious’ bare bottom.

The warrior was not given to clemency by nature. It was her habit to vanquish her foes, and though Atrocious was not a foe, she was a sharp tongued, very spoiled little wretch who had gotten them all into a great deal of trouble and not shown the slightest bit of appreciation for their help. It was not entirely surprising that Kira was thorough in her discipline, landing slaps to Atrocious’ kicking thighs and sometimes catching the sensitive skin between them if she flailed too much.

Eventually Kira stopped and held the naughty thief in place over her lap. She did not say a word to Atrocious, but she did stroke her bottom with a light, comforting touch, a small kindness.

“So,” she said, turning to Ayla and Rogette. “What do you suppose we should have for dinner?”

“Rump roast,” Rogette quipped.

They all laughed heartily at the jest, for it was a goodly one.

Wunt moar? This excerpt comes from Over Witch’s Knee, the first book in the Lesbia Chronicles 🙂 Read that one and looking for others? Virgin City and Clockwork Goddess are also available in this series.