I don’t necessarily like shopping. It involves looking at many things and choosing items from among them. This is a process I find inherently confusing. But what I found more confusing today, as I went shopping, was the plethora of people (and by plethora, I mean more than three) who elected to go shopping sans shoes.

They were bare foot in the food court. They were breaking social taboos and stabbing social mores and eating them for second (or maybe third) lunch. That’s what they were doing. But the barefooters had nothing on the truly tasteless – I speak, of course, of those who shopped in their socks.

Socks. It takes quite a lot of effort to go shopping in your socks. The barefoot might simply not have gotten around to their feet at all. Perhaps they forgot they had feet. It happens. But the sock people. They put their socks on and then they thought… I am done. Now. I am done with this putting things on my feet. I will go out into the world. And I will wear socks. That is a thing I will do. This is the decision I have made. Here I stand. In the mall. Without need for shoes. Because I have socks.

Socks.