I came across that explanation on a You Tube video, presumably left there for people unable to comprehend the concept of tea being a meal and it tickled my fancy, so now it is a title for a post on my blog.
You thought that was all you were going to get, didn’t you? Silly turnips! Here is more story.
With your pants destroyed, you spontaneously channel your inner outraged fashionista. “You look like you stepped out of a bad BDSM party,” you snark.
The guard looks at you darkly and you note with some consternation that the very sharp blade is still flashing preciously close to your intimate delicates. Once again, you have spoken too rashly. When oh when will you learn not to mouth off?
“I beg your pardon?” She seems confused by what you’ve said. An opportunity has presented itself. Mustering all your brainpower, you take the chance to back-peddle quickly.
“Er, I mean, I like your pants. They are very leathery,” you say with all the sincerity one draws from seeing one’s genitals in mortal danger.“Oh.” She looks strangely pleased. “Well that’s not going to get you out of your thrashing,” she quickly adds.
“No. Of course not,” you agree politely. You’ve inadvertently gotten on what looks like it might be her good side and now you press your advantage. “I mean, I’m a traveler lost in a land far from my own with a severe case of ‘forgetting-everything-I-know-itis’, maybe a good thrashing will help me remember.”
The guard grunts with something like amusement as she settles you over her lap and plucks at the silky nylon fabric of your underwear. “And what is this garment?” she inquires.
“It is my modesty cloth. In my land, we must not be seen without our modesty cloths or people will throw stones at us.” You congratulate yourself on your quick thinking. Surely she will respect the customs of your homeland?
“Well I won’t be throwing stones at you girl, but this is coming down,” the guard replies sternly, tapping your panty clad bottom. Her hands feel hard. You could be in for an unpleasant time if you can’t talk your way out of this predicament.
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I like the title, it’s kind of cute.
Loki Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 1:48 am
I am educating you!
O.o
Tea is not a meal. It is a beverage. The most widely consumed beverage world wide, after water.
I haz confusion. Am I missing the funny?
Loki Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 2:02 am
It’s not funny. It’s just a fact. Tea is indeed a meal they have in the evening in Britain. Also in Australia and New Zealand.
When did you become a lolcat?
Mackenzie Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 2:33 am
Oh. I did not know that.
lolcat is one of my personalities. She comes out when I’m feeling confused.
Where did the story come from from? That wasn’t here before, was it?
Oh, dear, I really think I need some sleep before I end up blowing something up :-s
‘Modesty cloth’ *snort* You could probably talk your way out of (or in to) just about anything, couldn’t you? LOL
Thank you for the continuing entertainment. Your stories always make me smile
Whoa a story segment appeared where one wasn’t before. I AM magic!! *closes eyes* Pony! *opens eyes* Dammit. Better keep practicing, I guess.
I’m with Mackenzie, tea is a drink, not a meal.
I almost put that in my first comment, but I was afraid all the “tea” people would come after me. Dinner is a meal. So is supper. Lunch too. Breakfast? Surely. Tea? That’s a liquid that comes in many varieties and can be served either hot or cold. 
I’ll take your word for it, though. It does sound all sophisticated and preppy to refer to a meal as tea. Maybe I should start. 
Loki Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 4:15 am
Apparently being plain contrary is the order of the day around here… interesting.. tomorrow I plan to state that the sky is blue and see what counter arguments emerge to that. After that, there will be no stopping the brat horde
anonymous Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 4:35 am
The sky is technically clear – this can be seen on any clear night. The blue color of the sky is due to Rayleigh scattering. As light moves through the atmosphere, most of the longer wavelengths pass straight through. Little of the red, orange and yellow light is affected by the air. However, much of the shorter wavelength light is absorbed by the gas molecules. The absorbed blue light is then radiated in different directions. It gets scattered all around the sky. Whichever direction you look, some of this scattered blue light reaches you. Since you see the blue light from everywhere overhead, the sky looks blue.
Loki Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 4:49 am
Thanks for proving my point, anonymous.
Cutey Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 5:40 am
stares up at anonymous in awe.
Brains are so sexy.
and being contrary by the sheer force of knowledge is awesome. My new hero. 
redbottomedgirl Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 5:40 am
I’m not trying to be contrary *grin* Really, I’m not. I’m not touching that color of the sky debate for anything, either
HAL Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 12:38 pm
Anonymous sounds strangely familiar to me….show yourself!
We won’t bite – but some of them do spank!
No, no, Celine, do NOT cave in to the tea people! Next thing you know you’ll be voting for Sarah Palin! *shudder*
Hmm, this installment was a quandary for me. Normally you’d never catch me crying sissy tears, but my head is spinning at how we suddenly ended up over the guard’s lap! Something tells me the “modesty cloth” line is not going to fly (well, actually something tells me the modesty cloth is going to end up flying like a flag off of one of our kicking legs *g*), so best try for all the sympathy possible. I voted for the tears!
Loki Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 4:10 am
Suddenly over the guard’s lap? She’s been wrestling with you for two days now. Just how long do you think it takes after cutting someone’s pants off to get them over your lap?
I’m beginning to doubt your claim that you spank people after all
Alyx Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 5:47 am
Sorry, I was just trying to express the position was suddenly scary to me for some reason. Must be my weak state of mind, pay me no attention.
Cutey Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 5:47 am
I think its because Alyx is such a natural Top. People are willing to remove their pants and lay over her lap. They all submit to such a dominant personality.
Indeed, Alyx does not have to use knives and wrestling.
Loki Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 7:50 am
Indeed. And how is the view from inside her colon, Cutey? Pray tell, is it warm this time of year?
HAL Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 10:34 am
Loki – that was hysterical – thank you! Good way to start my day. hehe
I of course would never crawl to such an extent. Obviously I am sure you have never had to wrestle people either
Loki Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 10:49 am
Oh I wrestle people all the time, it’s far more fun that way
HAL Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
Loki – you are naughty
Cutey Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 7:12 pm
Aww is little Loki jealous. I just stated a fact. Its not my fault that your colon is lonely because no one wants to keep it warm.
p.s. I totally respect your use of wrestling and knives.
Alyx Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 4:10 pm
That’s sweet of you, Cutey. And very true too. *g* But it won’t spare you if any discipline needs to be meted out later, you know.
Well, maybe just a little.
Cutey Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 7:18 pm
I am very sweet. But I just stated a fact. I had to laugh when the guard pulled a knife out because jeans were to complicated.
redbottomedgirl Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 5:42 am
The tea party people are scary, yo. Yeah, Sarah Palin and I could be BFFs. *snicker* After I have a lobotomy.
You crack me up, Alyx.
HAL Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 10:42 am
Tea people are NOT scary unless we wish to be. I would never vote for Sarah what’s her face – she never looked like someone I would want to drink or EAT tea with!
redbottomedgirl Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 11:03 am
Bwahahahaha! I love you, HAL! I vote that the non tea people rename one of our meals. Then you could eat tea and we could eat o.j.