This is just a little update to explain the lack of updates. I have a cold. That alone might not sound like a big deal, and in the grand scheme of things it isn’t, but in my own personal little microcosm, it is wreaking havoc. It is ass virusified. It’s giving me a Fight Club kind of insomnia where I might have been asleep, but I was pretty sure I was awake and punching Brad Pitt in the face.
I also have a new puppy. He is eight weeks old, an English Staffordshire Bull Terrier and he doesn’t understand that he will one day be the ruff tuff dog in the family. So for the moment, he cries every time he isn’t either eating, sleeping, playing or being cuddled. He also has absolutely no concept of anything akin to being house broken, he just goes wherever the mood takes him (and it takes him often, sometimes up to three times in fifteen minutes), which isn’t surprising because he’s still so much of a baby that he can’t even run five steps without face planting and falling into a forward roll.
So basically, I can’t sleep and if I do sleep, there is a good chance a puppy will pee on me.
That’s why you’ll have to wait a little bit longer for more stories. (Or, better still harass Alyx for more stories. Yes. Harass her. She likes it. Or HAL, HAL is also a viable target.)
Filed under “whine,” huh? Just out of curiosity, exactly how big is that file?
Because you are such a poor little sick creature, and because you described the puppy’s antics so delightfully (my little toppy heart is all melted), I will overlook the fact that you encouraged people to harass* me. In fact, I may even respond to that bit of negative attention by posting an update. Just possibly. If I feel like it. *g*
Please take care and get well soon, okay? No one else can run this board like you do. Well, not do so and manage to avoid being strangled in spite of her brattery as successfully you do, at any rate.
You’re welcome.
(*Which English people and possibly Kiwis may mispronounce as “harris,” but which is correctly pronounced “ha-RASS.” Emphasis on ASS.
)
[Reply]
Loki Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 2:37 am
Brattery? I do not brat. I educate. I aid. I am a changing day in your life. Dr Phil.
[Reply]
redbottomedgirl Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 3:12 am
What is it with spankos and Dr. Phil? I just do not get it.. *shakes head*
[Reply]
Loki Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 3:18 am
I don’t know what it is with spankos and Dr Phil. Is something about it not working for you?
[Reply]
redbottomedgirl Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 3:37 am
Nah, it’s cool. I just sorta don’t like him. Passionately.
But I’ll pretend it’s okay that other people do. 
Kidding, kidding…
[Reply]
Alyx Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 4:05 am
Oh, don’t be apologetic, RBG! I’ll guarantee you Loki doesn’t like him either! She’s just being contrary for the sake of it…typical.
[Reply]
redbottomedgirl Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 4:22 am
When the elections were going on, you could buy McCain and Obama dog toys lol. My dog went through several McCains..my ex had a habit of helping the pup rip their limbs off. Problem is, I think the dog’s a closet republican..he’d chew and shake and maul McCain and then later I’d find him curled up napping with him. *facepalm*
Anyway, my long-winded point is that if someone made a Dr. Phil squeaky toy for dogs, I’d buy a truckload. Or a Dr. Phil pinata..wouldn’t that be fun? Who wouldn’t like to take a baseball bat to him? Was that too violent? Sorry. *cough* I’ll fall back into loathing him silently now.
[Reply]
Loki Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 12:33 am
Alyx is right about that, I often reference people I have no respect for simply because they are culturally relevant. Dr Phil.
(I might sign all my comments off with. Dr Phil. From now on.)
[Reply]
Love the puppy face plant visual! I really hope you feel better soon! Don’t step in any puddles!
As a card-carrying member of the Pronunciation Militia, I just fell madly in love with Alyx. Yes, ha-RASS. That’s the RIGHT way to say it.
Harris is a surname. Or possibly a first name, I suppose. 
Celine
[Reply]
Loki Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 2:38 am
Uh oh, looks like HAL has some competition for Alyx! Celine and HAL and Alyx in a tree… K I S S I N G !
[Reply]
redbottomedgirl Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 3:14 am
A threesome, huh? Interesting..tell me more.
I may have to practice my multi-tasking..
[Reply]
Alyx Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 4:04 am
Three women is hot. And yes, multi-tasking is a must!
(I’m glad you’re on my side in the pronunciation wars. But I suspect the people who invented the language may have something to say about it. *LOL*)
[Reply]
HAL Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 10:06 pm
Harris? I DO NOT say that I say Harass. Thank you.
And as for competition – bring it on, I can handle it! (loki – you are a baaaad girl.) I would never be found kissing in a tree though – vertigo sufferer
I hope you feel lots better soon. Hugs. And the puppy does sound cute but way too much work….
[Reply]
HAL Reply:
August 1st, 2010 at 10:20 pm
Oh and ‘HAL is a viable target’?? Hmm.
Well I can’t complain having one of my hero writers using my name in the same sentence as my other hero writer can I? Thank you
[Reply]
Loki Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 12:29 am
Writer HEROES! I want a cape! (Sorry, I just got such an excellent mental picture when you said hero writers.) I am totally going to get a cape. I have a hat shaped like a dinosaur, but I will get a cape too. So I can be your hero, baby
[Reply]
Alyx Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 1:19 am
Capes are awesome, aren’t they? I always wanted a cape too. *bg* Maybe we should all get them! What kind of logo should we put on it???
[Reply]
HAL Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 8:48 am
[Reply]
Mackenzie Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 4:07 pm
Wearing a cape, a whole cape, and nothing but the cape? *snicker*
Hmmm, they could have a giant red ass on the back.
Ooh, ooh, and a drop seat like those old fashioned pajamas! How ’bout that?
[Reply]
Loki Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 12:30 am
A puppy is too much work? You have a child! Saying a puppy is too much work when you have a kid is like saying you can’t handle having a cold whilst you’re hemorrhaging with the Ebola virus.
[Reply]
HAL Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 8:47 am
Lol!! She is house trained now
So no more puddles. But in all other respects you are right – they are kind of hard work. In fact I need to lay down……
[Reply]
Alyx Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 2:22 am
HAL, do you really say it like us Yanks??? Hmm, maybe we need to check your credentials! How do you pronounce “aluminum”?
[Reply]
HAL Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 8:44 am
Alyouminium – which is obviously the correct way. I promise I am indeed English. Therefore I speak English and not American
~~~~
erm… said with respect of course
[Reply]
Loki Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 9:07 am
Right on HAL!
If you’re going to take England’s language and mangle it a bit to make it feel comfy, you don’t then turn around and tell the English that they’re speaking it incorrectly.
[Reply]
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Harassing someone is a legitimate method of forcing more stories from them? Really? Oh, I’m ALL for that (so long as none of it’s aimed at me).
*turns sweet, innocent, pleading angel eyes on Alyx and HAL* More stories, please?
Loki, congrats on the puppy and I hope you feel better and get some rest soon.
[Reply]
Alyx Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 6:35 am
*snort* Do you believe those “sweet, innocent, pleading angel eyes,” HAL? I certainly don’t!
[Reply]
HAL Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 8:42 am
I know little Cras far too well to believe sweet and innocent eyes. There is someone who is overdue a spanking is ever I saw one!
[Reply]
sorry to hear that you’re under the weather. hope you feel better soon. btw, if you take grapefruit seed extract, it may hasten your recovery. it works for me every time.
ooh, do we get to see a picture of your new puppy? i love puppies/dogs. they’re the best.
[Reply]
Loki Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 12:31 am
Thanks Pippin! I found your secretly hidden email and replied to it, by the way. I hope you found the reply. Grapefruit seed extract would be awesome but I’d have to stop lying on the couch and whimpering to get it and that sounds like too much work
[Reply]
Alyx Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 6:34 am
Ooo, is that where you secretly hide things, Loki? In your inbox?? *admiring* What a clever place! No one would ever dream of looking for hidden stuff right out in the open like that.
[Reply]
Loki Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 7:06 am
If you keep bratting me, I swear to god one of these days I will beat that little ass of yours.
[Reply]
Alyx Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 8:03 am
Whoa! I apologize, Loki. Sincerely. I was teasing you and if it came across as bratting then I’m sorry. Clumsy of me, but not intentionally disrespectful. Please forgive me.
[Reply]
pippin Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 8:06 am
please make that day soon loki! alyx is a major brat, and she’s in dire need of a thorough and painful spanking! (alyx, no fair giving my gf spanking tips … or lending her your implements! *stink-eyeing you* it’s very dangerous to share such information to a sadist! and no wooden implements! i am NOT amused!)
[Reply]
HAL Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 8:45 am
She gave your gf spanking tips? That is so wrong!!
[Reply]
Alyx Reply:
August 3rd, 2010 at 3:02 am
Pippin, your gf and I were having a perfectly reasonable conversation. She asked me a question, I politely answered her. If you were eavesdropping, then you have only yourself to blame if you didn’t like what you heard. In fact, I should probably tell V to address that!
HAL, your gf could be contacted too, you realize! *raised brow* I can think of several suggestions I would have to improve your behavior as well.
[Reply]
Awww, poor Loki
Colds suck. Have you reached the stage where your nose is too sore to blow so you just wander around with tissue shoved up your nostrils?
Hope you feel better soon.
Love the puppy antics
Dogs are awesome … more so when they stop peeing on your stuff.
[Reply]
Loki Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 12:32 am
Haha, no Mackenzie. In fact, I have never been at that stage. That stage seems weird and scary to me. Dogs are totally awesome, I agree entirely.
[Reply]
Mackenzie Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 3:19 am
Oh, Loki. You don’t know what you’re missing.
Being so sick that even your hair hurts and walking around your house with tissues stuffed up your nose. Then answering the door.
Fun times
[Reply]
Loki Reply:
August 2nd, 2010 at 4:13 am
They do sound like epic fun times Mackenzie, I’m only sad that I haven’t experienced them
[Reply]